OK, so I drive the Blue Turd 150 miles a day to and from work. It is a bit rusty, has a red hard top and is NOT an XR2. Whilst I mainly drive highway, on this particular day a crash made going back roads some a better option. I’m cruising along, listening to my 3rd favorite station when I notice a C6 Corvette next to me. I’m in 3rd gear, puttering along as Spanky starts goosing the throttle. I casually look over at him with my “Are you OK?” look just as he gets on it. Boom…………….left in the dust by douchebag number 1.
As I continue my detour I was thinking to myself “Self, what makes someone in a 400 hp car want to race a 100 hp (in her prime) car?” Self had no answer. I was brought out of my deep pondering by the lights in my rearview mirror. Low and behold, a Mini S was on my arse. Still being a 4 lane, 45 mph road I stayed on the right side as he came up next to me. Now, my “Are you OK?” look is obviously easily confused with my “Hey Brah……lets street race yo!” look so I decided to keep my eyes forward. A quick tap of the peddle by the Mad Yuppie and he pulled out in front of me. It may have been his 200hp or it may have been that we started going uphill and I didn’t give it any more gas but that was the second race I lost that day.
This all leads to these 3 questions.
1. What is it about a 25 year old convertible econobox driven by a middle aged fat guy that screams “LET’S RACE”?
2. Why do Mini’s sound like shit?
3. What is the average air speed velocity of a laden swallow?