Ok, time for a quick update and a little info on what worked and what didn't.
I used 3 of those plate clips that hold IHI compressor housings to the CHRA (had donor extras from the trashed vj14), as spacers between the actuator bracket and the compressor housing that those 6 mm bolts go into (as pics show, I also slotted the actuator bracket holes). I went for the most natural fit that was as direct as possible, meaning that my actuator ended up a little more parallel to the direction of the exhaust ports on the manifold, not as skewed as OEM. My using spacers shortened up the distance to the waste gate, so my waste gate didn't fit quite as tight at closed position as stock (quite firm). So now it doesn't take as much boost to begin opening it up. By shortening the distance from actuator to gate a little, I aimed at opening earlier so I could have more flexibility controlling boost.
My strategy worked. The waste gate operates freely when driving, too freely, coming open at approx 5 lbs. but no worries - the manual boost controller I just recieved was able to tune this so that she smoothly makes up to 11lbs of boost and no creep. It could go higher, but I don't want to go lean (no RocketChip yet).
I'll try to post a few pics later. I also installed an aftermarket mechanical boost gage that confirmed that the stock gauge was reading way off. Maybe half of reality. Sure feels nice to have full power back.
What didn't work was solving oil leaks which seem to be worse than ever but that's a different thread. The turbo oil leak is gone, and the breather on the valve cover fixed the blow by problem, but either my crank main, my oil pan or could it be my head gasket that is causing oil to run down the belt end of the oil pan and moisten below the head along parts of the block? I just replaced the pan gaskets and it might even be worse. One year ago I replaced both cam seals and the crank seal and maybe it started being more noticible after I got the water pump timing belt job finished. Seems like I can't win with stopping the flow.